This Isn't Goodbye
by YourLovelyMajesty
Summary: One-shot. Takes place after Mass Effect 2 and Arrival DLC. Shepard is being taken into custody for the destruction of the Bahak system and Tali hangs behind for a final good bye with her commander.


Their two weeks were up. It felt like only yesterday they had assaulted the Collector's base and stopped the Reapers from coming through the Alpha Relay. Maybe time flew for Tali because she had been so busy with Ken and Gabby, trying to get the Normandy back to normal statistics. Now that they were no longer working with The Illusive Man, Miranda had worked through her contacts to fund the repairs. Tali was thankful for the top-of-the-line equipment, and it certainly helped Ken and Gabby, but Tali was confident that even if they only had a few pieces of scrap, she could get decent results. She was a quarian; she could fix any ship in her sleep.

If only she was so confident in her social skills.

After the destruction of the relay, the Alliance received threats of war. An entire galaxy was gone because of one human's actions and they demanded Commander Shepard face the death penalty. Although she wasn't an Alliance soldier now, she was still a Spectre and had a duty and reputation to uphold. She agreed to be taken into Alliance custody under one condition—her crew went free.

Everyone seemed to pick their time to say goodbye over the previous week. Tali couldn't yet face Shepard; she wasn't ready for another goodbye. What if the Reapers invaded and they never saw each other again? What if Shepard received life in prison? What if they went through with a death penalty? What if—?

_No, Tali, get a hold of yourself. Shepard will be fine, but what about me?_

She had to return to the Flotilla. Two nights ago, she received a message from Auntie Raan that there was discord at home. There was also something important they had to discuss but neither topic was comfortable for Raan to share over a public connection. Tali hoped it had nothing to do with her father. Shepard had covered up that mess beautifully, even when it pained Tali to lie to Raan's face. Tali just wanted her father's memory to remain pure, not tainted by the title "war criminal."

_ I know why you did it. I would have done the same. Rest peacefully under Rannoch's stars, Papa,_ she prayed.

With a sigh, Tali finished packing what little belongings she had and sat on her cot in the crew quarters. Several of the human crew members were still packing, chatting as if nothing was wrong. Everything felt wrong to Tali. Shepard had saved so many lives already but the Reapers were still a threat—they would come, and more than just a galaxy of aliens would be lost. Why did Shepard have to be jailed now?

Tali shook her head. Of course there had to be some kind of justice for all the lives lost, but now? And for Shepard to take the burden all on herself? Tali hated it. She was with Shepard since the beginning. Wasn't some of the blame hers?

EDI's voice broke the easy chatter in the crew quarters. "The Normandy will be docking on the Citadel in five minutes."

Tali grabbed her bag and headed toward the elevator. Mordin, Garrus, and crewmen Goldstein and Hawthorne were already waiting. Garrus, who had come to know her so well over the course of Shepard's crazy agenda, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She smiled, even though he couldn't see it.

When they arrived at CIC, the main console gave the room an eerie glow. The lights were dimmed and the support consoles were off. The sight of it made Tali's chest tightened. No ship deserved this, especially not one as beautiful as the Normandy.

The room steadily filled as they neared the Citadel. It was times like this when Tali remembered the crew was more than Shepard's select elite. There was a full crew to run the frigate, and without their help, the commander wouldn't have been able to do her job. Silently, Tali thanked every one of them for their skills and devotion.

Shepard stepped into the CIC from the bridge, Joker hobbling behind her. The crowd that was already quiet grew still. They expected a final rousing speech. Shepard, with her hair combed and dressed in Alliance dress blues, looked ready to give one. Instead, she smiled. Tali could barely see the guilt and sadness.

"The media knows we're coming," Joker said as he joined the rest of the group. "They're waiting just beyond the long line of scary Alliance officials."

"No one owes them any answers," Shepard said. "We've done all we can to warn about the Reaper threat. Any accusations now should be ignored." She sighed and started to pace. "I'm not going to stand here and congratulate you on a job well done because we're _far_ from finished. The Reapers will find their way out of dark space and when they do, I'm counting on each of you to be ready. Stay safe, and I hope you'll continue to fight this war when the time comes." She stopped and faced her crew, her hands folded behind her back. "Good job, everyone. Rest up and enjoy your time off. Dismissed."

There was no reaction for a heartbeat. Then Samara stepped forward and offered her hand, which Shepard grasped. "It was good to fight by your side, Shepard. May Goddess guide you."

And soon the others began to follow after. Hands were shaken, hugs were given, and words were exchanged. Tali knew better than anyone the types of bonds that were forged on ships; now it was possible they would never see each other again. She couldn't imagine a life without Shepard's influence or Garrus's dry humor. She had come to treasure her teammates so much. Even Mordin, who would look out for her with extra anti-biotics and a lecture when her suit ruptured.

The CIC emptied steadily. She still didn't know what she would tell Shepard. Tali stood by the galaxy map, arms wrapped around her chest and her mind spinning.

"Tali?" Shepard asked.

They were the only two left on the ship, save EDI. Shepard came to stand next to Tali as they took their last look around the Normandy.

"There are so many great memories here," Tali said. "Even if it's not the original Normandy, I still remember the conversations we had by the drive core and in the mess. Do you remember when Kaidan put on a biotics show while he was cooking?"

Shepard gave a pained little laugh. "Yeah, the one time we didn't have dehydrated food and he made it special. I miss him."

Tali nodded and touched the sleek metal of the map's console. "What's going to happen now, Shepard?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Well, I get an armed escort on an Alliance vessel back to Earth. The Normandy will go into lockdown while they refit it. Everyone will probably go back to their lives before I uprooted them, I guess."

"I hate saying goodbye," Tali sighed. "After Saren, it was okay because I had to finish my pilgrimage. But something feels incomplete. There's still so much left to do. I want to keep _fighting_."

"What about the Flotilla?"

"What about them? My people are safe, but if you're sent to jail then what have any of us been fighting for?"

"The same thing we've always fought for," Shepard assured her quietly. "Peace. We'll stop the Reapers, Tali. Even if I'm not the one leading the final charge, I know we can win."

Tali looked at her commander, so experienced and sincere. She never doubted. "You'll save us all, Commander. You always do. Need I remind you that every time we meet, you end up saving my life? I try so hard to be strong and follow your example and I still screw up."

"Hey, don't say that. You've definitely come a long way from that starry-eyed girl I first recruited. And even then I knew you had incredible inner strength. You're smart and you have a good head on your shoulders."

"But I'll never be_ you_. I'll always just be little, awkward Tali."

"I'd rather be you any day. A cute quarian with the ability to make an AI blush with her technical talk? What's not to love about you?" Shepard bumped her shoulder against Tali with a wink.

It was Tali's turn to blush.

Shepard placed her hand on Tali's shoulder. "You'll be fine out there. You've written a new role for quarians in history twice already; that's something to be proud of. You're a hero. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Tali gave her best friend a tight hug. Shepard responded with her own vice grip and despite the suit she'd worn all her life, Tali was sure she could feel the warmth of Shepard's body. It was more comforting than words. In the short contact, she could feel Shepard's hesitation and the weight of the decision. It wasn't an easy one, but the commander always did the right thing.

They pulled away from each other and Tali was thankful, for perhaps the first time in her life, that she wore a helmet. She didn't want to cry in front of Shepard again. She held back the tears in her voice.

"Thank you, Shepard," she whispered. "Good luck and give them hell."

"I'm sure I'll see you soon. Take care of yourself, Tali."

Tali nodded and picked up her bag, throwing it over her shoulder as she departed. Familiar blue uniforms stood closest to the Normandy's doors. She held her head high as she walked past them and into a flashing mass of cameras and voices. She didn't owe them answers; anything she could say would undoubtedly be used against Shepard in court.

"Tali'Zorah vas Neema! Just a few questions!" a salarian reporter shouted. She heard him clearly over the cries of her informal first name. That anyone at all would know her name surprised her; she was just little Tali'Zorah. But they wanted her account, her opinions—they knew her name and what she did. She felt important for one brief second, like maybe she was Shepard, after all. _Shepard._

She promised herself that she wouldn't answer for Shepard's sake, but she paused briefly to address the salarian.

"Actually, it's Tali'Zorah vas Normandy," she replied and shoved through the crowd.

It meant nothing to the public but to her, it was everything. She could have this one small part of the Normandy until her commander, her friend, called on her one last time.


End file.
